The holiday season brings friends and family together to celebrate traditions, share meals, and watch a football game or two. Usually, these gatherings have their ups and downs, awkward moments, and small disagreements.
Maybe Uncle Jake always talks over the TV announcer and you can’t hear the play-by-play. Maybe cousin Alice drinks the last bit of eggnog and doesn’t go out for more. Maybe you feel obligated to host and don’t know how to handle all these relatives.
This year might be even more stressful given the emotion in the country. When you get a lot of people together with different personality types, it can sometimes create tension. But what if there were a way to make this year’s holidays more harmonious? We think there is.
If you’ve been through IMPACT Selling® training, you know we use a tool called the Brooks Talent Index™ DISC assessment to understand our employees’ personalities and help our clients understand themselves.
DISC simply looks at how an individual does something. You may also hear it referred to as “behavior styles” or “communication styles.” This shows how we communicate, how we interact with others, and, for salespeople, how we sell. But this assessment can be just as helpful for understanding friends and family as it is for colleagues and customers.
DISC is an acronym for four personality components: Dominance, Influence, Steadiness, and Compliance. You may hear people refer to being a “high I” or a “high C.” Everyone has a primary style and some degree of the other styles.
One way to think about DISC is our response to things:
- D: How people respond to problems—“High D” people focus more on results and tasks, tend to be higher energy, and are likely to be more formal in their communication style.
- I: How people respond to others—“High I” people focus more on other people, tend to have higher energy, and are likely more relaxed in communication style.
- S: How people respond to pace—“High S” people focus more on other people, tend to be more reserved, and are probably more relaxed in their communication style.
- C: How people respond to procedures—“High C” people focus more on results and tasks, tend to be more reserved, have higher energy, and are likely more formal in their communication style.
Understanding how to communicate with different DISC styles can help you create more enjoyable gatherings for everyone.
How DISC Can Make Your Holidays Harmonious
Generally, behavior styles that are opposites of each other have the greatest potential for conflict. And it’s not that one is bad and one is good; it’s that the styles are just different. How each style perceives the other comes into play.
Knowing there’s the potential for a disconnect, let’s look at how understanding and accommodating each style can create more of a harmonious holiday experience.
D Style (Dominance)
D-style individuals are direct, results-oriented, and decisive. They appreciate efficiency and getting to the point.
When communicating with a “D,” be direct and brief in conversations; focus on results and outcomes; acknowledge their ideas and leadership; and give them space when they need it.
Holiday Hosting Tips
- Give your D friends and family control over specific aspects of the gathering
- Keep discussions focused and purposeful
- Respect their time by sticking to schedules
- Present options and let them make quick decisions
- Avoid lengthy, drawn-out activities without clear objectives
I Style (Influence)
I-style individuals are outgoing, enthusiastic, and people-oriented. They thrive on social interaction and fun.
When communicating with an “I,” show enthusiasm for their ideas; listen to their stories and experiences; engage in light-hearted conversation; and appreciate their humor and energy.
Holiday Hosting Tips
- Plan interactive games and activities
- Create opportunities for storytelling and sharing
- Include elements of surprise and entertainment
- Keep the atmosphere light and festive
- Encourage group photos and social media moments
S Style (Steadiness)
S-style individuals value harmony, stability, and maintaining the status quo. They appreciate tradition and predictability.
When communicating with an “S,” speak in a warm, sincere manner; listen patiently and show you value their input; avoid rushing them into decisions; and respect their need for personal space.
Holiday Hosting Tips
- Maintain familiar holiday traditions
- Provide advance notice of any changes to plans
- Create a calm, peaceful atmosphere
- Allow for quiet moments and downtime
- Keep conflict to a minimum
C Style (Compliance)
C-style individuals appreciate accuracy, quality, and attention to detail. They value logical approaches and careful planning.
When communicating with a “C,” be precise and detailed in explanations; support statements with facts and evidence; respect their need to analyze situations; and allow them time to process information.
Holiday Hosting Tips
- Share detailed plans and schedules in advance
- Provide clear expectations about events
- Maintain organization and cleanliness
- Have backup plans for potential issues
- Respect their need for personal space and quiet time
4 Tips for Creating Harmony Across DISC Styles
It might seem impossible to accommodate all these different communication styles and preferences, but you can do it. To create a truly harmonious holiday gathering, consider these universal tips.
1. Create Balanced Spaces
Designate both quiet and social areas. Allow for both structured and free-flowing activities. Provide options for different engagement levels.
2. Plan Inclusive Activities
Mix traditional and new experiences. Include both active and passive participation options. Allow people to opt in or out comfortably.
3. Manage Communication
Set clear expectations about gatherings. Respect different communication preferences. Create opportunities for all voices to be heard.
4. Handle Conflicts
Address issues privately and promptly. Focus on solutions rather than blame. Respect different approaches to problem-solving.
Respecting Individual DISC Styles
Self-awareness is one of the most powerful qualities anyone can have. When a person is self-aware, they can counteract or complement their natural tendencies to build rapport with others, reduce conflict, and communicate more effectively with friends, family, and co-workers.
Remember that, while the DISC assessment provides valuable insights, each person is unique. Use these guidelines as a starting point but remain flexible and attentive to individual needs. The key to successful holiday gatherings is creating an environment where everyone feels comfortable being themselves while respecting others’ preferences.
By understanding and accommodating different DISC styles, you can create more enjoyable holiday experiences that bring out the best in everyone. After all, the true spirit of the holidays lies in coming together and celebrating our differences as much as our connections.
After the holidays, sales professionals can use DISC to understand their own styles and how to communicate best with customers for more effective sales conversations.
Find out how the Brooks Talent Index DISC assessment can help you and your sales team improve communication and insight.
